Hey, is that a helicopter, I hear? Oh no! that just my mum hovering!! That was me a few years ago. Well, come to think of it, even a few days back when I was at my relative’s place! I was a helicopter parent too.
As a mum to two lovely daughters, I often find myself thinking that I would never ever hover around my child as my mom did. But life has a way of turning on you and you just can’t help yourself! Eventually, I give in and end up doing the same thing that I so diligently wanted to avoid.
I know it happens to most parents out there, but does it help you or your child? That is a different matter altogether!
What do the statistics say?
Studies indicate that the new generation of kids come in with excellent scores and grades, but they lack the basic skills to manage their lives while they are on their own. They are sorely lacking in social skills and cunning to survive the big bad world!
All thanks to helicopter parenting! Well, it’s never too late to change.
Let’s look at some ways to avoid turning into a helicopter parent.
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Teach your little one’s basic life skills
There is one simple life truth. You would not be around your child forever. So prepare your child to handle themselves independently; that way, they would know what exactly to do if they find themselves alone someday. Start with tying a shoelace or a tie, doing the laundry, cooking, perhaps even changing the tire. The benefits of these activities are twofold- not only will it teach them basic things that can someday save their lives, but it also teaches them not to take things for granted. Make it a fun activity where the entire family does it together; trust me, they will remember it even when you’re old and grey.
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Encourage them to communicate face to face
Today, our kids are glued to their electronic devices and are more dependent on social media; human interactions are thrown out of the proverbial window. They end up forgetting how to talk to people and behave when they are around in public. They get finicky and anxious, which eventually affects their mental health. Teach them to forge connections by encouraging face-to-face interactions. This exercise will enable them to look others in the eye and confidently express themselves. Also read, Types of parents at a parent-teacher meeting.
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Give them some kind of responsibility
It’s basic human nature that we learn by doing, and the sooner it’s done, the better. The point here is to teach them how to be independent, which is best done by giving them some kind of responsibility. Give them small jobs or chores that they will be responsible for, maybe they will falter for a couple of days, but they will make it for sure, eventually.
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Teach them to solve their own problems
You can’t always be around your kids to solve their problems and get them out of trouble. Sure, we will be there to pick them up when they fall or support them if they need help, but they also need to solve their problems on their own. What do you think they will do if they are bullied or fall into bad company, and their friend pressurizes them to drink or smoke.
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Don’t hover!
Allow your child to take risks, get hurt, feel pain – because it is all a part of life. As parents, we need to stop being overbearing or overprotective as it will only hold them back. Avoid hovering over them and sheltering them. Let them take the call and learn to handle the consequences.
So, mums and dads huddle up and ask each other if you are helicopter parents. And if you are, how can you rectify this and teach your kids to be independent?
I wrote this article from my own experience as a mom who used to be a helicopter parent. Do share your thoughts and experiences with us in the comments below.
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October 1, 2021 at 6:03 pm
It is essential to give children their space to grow and become independent. I am glad you wrote about this topic.
October 1, 2021 at 11:59 pm
Every person needs space and kids too need it, your post focuses on right channel of thoughts to raise an independent kid. We all need to shun few responsibilities and give kids few to make their decision making strong.
October 2, 2021 at 8:16 am
I too believe in nit hovering ans allowing to fake their pen decisions.
October 2, 2021 at 8:32 pm
I never thought it before. This is something to consider seriously
October 2, 2021 at 10:07 pm
Very good pointer, will be helpful
October 3, 2021 at 1:13 am
Thats a great post, where I see helicopter parenting as a trend (that I cant understand), your post is indeed a great read with loads to understand. Loved the way you penned it
October 3, 2021 at 1:21 pm
It is so important to give your child space to learn and figure things out on their own, while helicopter may help keep an eye on your kid, sometimes it is important to let them make their own mistakes so they learn from them
October 3, 2021 at 7:23 pm
I have seen that when I move away, my kids tend to get things sorted by themselves. Hoevering around is truly the easiest thing to avoid
October 3, 2021 at 11:04 pm
Very valuable points Deepa. Only then will they learn independence and have the freedom to explore life the way they’re meant to.
October 4, 2021 at 9:54 am
Good post! I guess I was the same till some time ago. But eventually we all have to learn to let kids go and fly off on their own.
October 5, 2021 at 1:43 pm
Am so glad you wrote this. Most parents don’t realise how overbearing they can be. Your post is an eye-opener! Keep writing Deepa, I love your posts.
October 7, 2021 at 9:48 am
This is very important. Children should be allowed to grow. Many parents put straitjackets on them.
October 7, 2021 at 1:10 pm
I love the tips and specially the one, we should give child responsibility. I hope many moms would gain insight from your post.
October 7, 2021 at 5:03 pm
I so so need to learn this. I try not to hover, but always break my resolutions!
October 7, 2021 at 5:22 pm
You are absolutely right. We need to let kids make mistakes and learn. This helps in all rounded growth.
October 7, 2021 at 10:08 pm
Helicopter Parenting is a term I have heard for the 1st time. Really like and appreciate the honest tips.
October 8, 2021 at 10:21 am
well written blogpost.
October 8, 2021 at 11:46 am
I wish and my dad read your post when I was a kid.
October 8, 2021 at 12:27 pm
I am not a helicopter mom. I really love to be independent and bear the risk and pain
October 9, 2021 at 12:43 am
Its important that kids learn to be independent. After all, we cant chaperone them the entire life.
October 9, 2021 at 2:35 am
Great tips. It’s so important to let kids make mistakes and learn on their own
October 9, 2021 at 10:16 am
Absolutely valid points. The last thing that you want is kids who are dependent on you for every decision they take. At the end of the day you want to raise good humans.
October 9, 2021 at 1:02 pm
I am sure these tips will help in the future.
October 9, 2021 at 3:57 pm
Your post makes me think am I also a helicopter parent to my teenage daughter. Time to re-think and bring in little changes in our relationships.
October 9, 2021 at 5:52 pm
These are some amazing tips on parenting! I hope I won’t become a helicopter mom! 🙂
October 9, 2021 at 10:33 pm
I so had to hear this…I am an expert helicopter mom and the pandemic has not made things easier….
I do try to give my kids extra responsibility to let them be more independent…
October 9, 2021 at 11:09 pm
Quite true. There is a fine line between a concerned parent and a helicopter parent. Kids need space to grow.
October 11, 2021 at 8:16 am
World had changed so we need to change too. We need to know how to draw a line between protective and overprotective parent. Be around but do not hover.
October 11, 2021 at 8:58 pm
I got to know about this term from the movie Helicopter Eela and then I realized that I was also becoming a helicopter parent. But soon I started working on my parenting and now I feel much more confident about my son and I know that he will handle himself well even if I am not around.
October 12, 2021 at 2:47 pm
I dont do any of the above. I think its just the way I was brought up too, so doing the same with my kids.
October 12, 2021 at 10:26 pm
Very good points, and even i confess i was at a point a helicopter parent. and changed while they were not listning