Being a mom means a lot of things change overnight. From being a carefree young girl to a responsible mom is a long and tough journey with learnings at each point.
First of all, pregnancy turns many things upside down. There are hormonal changes, mood swings, and body changes. It’s better to embrace everything as early as possible and just smile. Once the baby comes, the transformations are huge.
Motherhood teaches us to be strong, to be patient and to be calm. Suddenly, all our priorities change and our world just revolve around the tiny bundle of joy. But, as this tiny bundle of joy grows up, there are many situations when we moms just lose our calmness and patience. We just feel like taking out all our frustrations by yelling.
A lot of my friends and family used to tell me, ” You are very patient and calm with kids.” To tell you the truth, now when I have been a mom for 15 years, my ability to be a calm and patient mom has gone for a toss. I think with time, we lose our patience too.
Don’t you lose it sometimes moms?
I am sharing how I control my anger and stop myself from yelling. What worked for me might not work for others. These do not work for me also in some situations but I try. 😉
- Breathe – This is the topmost point on my list as this one helps me calm down. Deep breathe whenever the situation is tough. It not only helps when you are angry but also when you get into panicky mom mode.
- Change the perspective – This is one more mantra which helps me immediately. Remember that they are just kids, it’s their age to do all this and it’s ok to let them be. Just see the situation differently and react accordingly. We have to be the role models for our kids. So, if we shout, scream and use inappropriate words, it’s not going to help at all.
- Take a break- Moms also need a break in between and it’s perfectly OK to ask for any help if required with kids and family. Going out with friends, chatting, going for shopping, spa or just some me time definitely helps. There are more chances of a mom yelling at kids when they are stressed out and overburdened with the anxiety of motherhood.
- Calm down– As a mom, I know most of the times it’s like an instant reaction as we lose our ability to think clearly and we feel guilty later. Now I always try to think before reacting. I know it’s easier said than done, but it’s better for everybody.
- Talk to kids– It is always better to talk to kids later and ask them questions like, “Do you think it’s ok to hit your younger brother/sister?” or “Do you think it was OK to throw your food on the floor?” Whenever you are talking to kids, make sure to come down to their level and talk.
I think we moms also need to hear once in a while that we are doing great. I want to say this is to all the moms reading it – YOU ARE DOING GREAT!
Share the ways to control anger when you feel like yelling at your kids.
Last weeks winner is @mummasauraus/Prisha.

July 17, 2017 at 9:51 am
Deep breathing, change of perspective and talking to kids figures out in my list also. Untill many years back, spanking was acceptable. Then the ill effects of spanking and hitting came to limelight. And now it is yelling. As I see it frequently, words create deeper wounds than the physical harms.
July 17, 2017 at 10:41 am
Yes Anamika//there are days when we feel like spanking our kids too but its better not to as it can lead to some permanent damage which cannot be undone later. Thanks for reading 🙂
July 17, 2017 at 12:06 pm
Oh boy, I never knew that my mother could have had these thoughts as well. I deem myself a pretty well-behaved child. In fact, till date I remember being slapped at most two times in 22 years of my life ?
July 17, 2017 at 10:01 pm
Thanks for reading Nidhal
July 17, 2017 at 1:17 pm
Your first point “Breathe” is my savior too… I close my eyes and take a long breath..this pause actually makes a difference. Thank you for sharing this 🙂
July 17, 2017 at 10:01 pm
Thanks for reading
July 17, 2017 at 3:19 pm
Breathing helps me too!.Its really tough being a mom.But you are doing great Deepa .I am sure you manage your anger perfectly well,
July 17, 2017 at 10:02 pm
Thank you
July 17, 2017 at 3:19 pm
Its really hardest job in the world of being a mom. I usually slow down and take a break.
July 17, 2017 at 10:02 pm
Good idea..thanks Vaidehi
July 17, 2017 at 3:22 pm
Great post Deepa. I always think that fault is in me that I scream at times as it’s an extension of my fatigue, failure or pain. Kids are kids and they need not be perfect. Thank you for your tips.
July 17, 2017 at 10:03 pm
Exactly! But we are also humans after all. We have good days and bad days too as moms. Thanks Hena..glad you liked it:)
July 17, 2017 at 4:03 pm
Taking a break is so important. We lose ourselves playing the perfect mom/wife/daughter role. But we forget that its not just us but people around us who will suffer the consequences of our growing resentment.
Wonderful tips and reminders for moms to deal with a sticky situation.
July 17, 2017 at 10:04 pm
Thank you for reading ..glad you liked it 🙂
July 17, 2017 at 4:50 pm
I am very poor in keeping my cool. But I make myself busy in something else and this way I get myself back 🙂
July 17, 2017 at 10:05 pm
Thats a good idea too..Thanks Shipra 🙂
July 17, 2017 at 4:53 pm
Talk to kids is the best way …they do follow if made to understand politely
July 17, 2017 at 10:05 pm
Thanks Monika 🙂
July 17, 2017 at 6:15 pm
Good advice. Why weren’t you around some 40 years ago when I needed this? 🙂 Why do we tell people to “earmark” certain things?
July 17, 2017 at 10:07 pm
Hahaha Shirley..I guess we as moms always need such good advice. I surely try but sometimes these do not work for me when I am really upset. Thanks for reading 🙂
July 17, 2017 at 10:56 pm
I think mom excelled at the last two when I was young. 🙂 She’d calm down and then talk to me. That helped a lot.
July 18, 2017 at 7:49 am
Thanks for stopping by Vinay 🙂
July 17, 2017 at 11:05 pm
I want to practice gentle parenting but of course it will get more difficult as the terrible twos set in. These are some practical tips I will have to keep in mind
July 18, 2017 at 7:49 am
Thank you
July 18, 2017 at 7:14 am
I’m not a mom, and I have all the respect in the world for moms in general– I could never have that sort of patience.
July 18, 2017 at 7:50 am
Thanks for stopping by Damayanti 🙂
July 18, 2017 at 7:49 am
You picked such a wonderful topic this Monday. It is a constant struggle to keep my cool with two tweens in the house. Liked your pointers, if only i could remember them when that wave of anger comes on.
July 18, 2017 at 6:12 pm
Thanks Tulika 🙂
July 18, 2017 at 9:50 am
Yes, We mom’s are humans at first place and we loose our temper. But when we become angry kids are hurt emotionally. I loved reading your tips.
July 18, 2017 at 6:13 pm
Thank you Jiya
July 18, 2017 at 10:21 am
Agree with the tips you have shared. Taking a deep breath and recognizing your triggers helps you calm down. My empathy for all the moms.
July 18, 2017 at 6:13 pm
Thanks for stopping by Rachna 🙂
July 18, 2017 at 8:31 pm
I am always so impressed when I see a mom keep her cool. I know it must be so trying – just babysitting my nieces for a few hours, I wanted to pull my hair out! I will hold onto these tips for the future!
July 18, 2017 at 9:59 pm
Thank you
July 18, 2017 at 11:52 pm
I do these tactics. My daughter can try my patience. Sometimes I do yell, but I think it shows that I’m human. I don’t do it often, but when no one is listening, it’s a quick way to get attention. But for the most part, I do try to speak calmly.
July 19, 2017 at 8:03 am
Yes we moms have to scream when no one is listening. Thanks Amber.
July 19, 2017 at 1:06 am
As a mom myself, I totally understand the importance of anger control. The tips your provided are very practical and helpful. Deep breathing and taking a break usually work best for me.
July 19, 2017 at 8:04 am
Thanks Lorna
July 19, 2017 at 10:21 am
These tips will work well for father’s too ..
July 19, 2017 at 12:14 pm
Yup! I am still trying. Keeping calm and finding that ‘me time’ is extremely important for the overall sanity of a mother 🙂
July 19, 2017 at 6:22 pm
Thanks Neha
July 19, 2017 at 4:17 pm
The first thing reading the headline was me wanting to say, take a deep breath mommy:). This is what I do, I take a breath and move out from the room or divert things. Good tips for all mama’s to follow:)
July 19, 2017 at 6:24 pm
Thanks Jhilmil
July 19, 2017 at 10:48 pm
I do not have kids yet, but I take care of my nephew very often and sometimes it is really hard to control myself not to yell.
July 19, 2017 at 10:55 pm
Thank you
July 20, 2017 at 7:38 pm
well, it gets hard but lately breathing has been helping me a lot!
July 20, 2017 at 10:52 pm
Good..Thanks Zainab
July 20, 2017 at 10:59 pm
I think that being mom is one of the toughest full time job. Glad that you acknowledged all the moms that they’re doing the best of their abilities! I don’t have kids but can imagine how difficult it would be for all the moms to keep their sanity all the time!
July 21, 2017 at 8:02 am
Thanks Ana
July 21, 2017 at 12:15 pm
As a mother I have been using all the techniques but nothing fixed. Sometimes, one technique works and other times some other technique. But yes talking to them later does help if the child is a little bigger.
July 21, 2017 at 4:01 pm
Thanks Geethica
July 22, 2017 at 10:58 pm
I haaate being told to take a deep breath/breathe, but it DOES help 🙂 I actually give MYSELF time outs when things get bad. When I’ve calmed down I can actually talk to my kids in a decent manner.
July 23, 2017 at 6:37 pm
Thanks Emma 🙂
July 23, 2017 at 11:20 am
Perfectly covered Deepa, Anger has no home in mommyland it’s good to keep it at bay and out of happiness. deep breathing, relaxation always help. Loved it
July 23, 2017 at 6:37 pm
Thanks Dipika
July 23, 2017 at 3:31 pm
Talking to kids definitely helps…especially when they are about to sleep…it leaves a positive impact.
July 23, 2017 at 6:38 pm
Thank you