Bullied by peers, 14-year-old jumps from 10th floor
Bengaluru: A 14-year-old student who police suspect was bullied by his peers jumped off the 10th floor of his apartment complex in JP Nagar. Raunak Banerjee, a class 9 student at Baldwin Boys’ High School, jumped to death on June 29 after returning from school. – Times of India
A few days back, we came to know about a case of bullying and suicide in Bangalore and again questioned our parenting methods and the way things are going for our children.
What is bullying?
According to Wikipedia- Bullying is the use of force, threat, or coercion to abuse, intimidate, or aggressively dominate others. The behaviour is often repeated and habitual.
There are two kinds of cases in bullying- Kids who are bullies and the kids who get bullied. Bullying is mainly of two types-
Physical
Verbal
Or internet or cyberbullying is very common these days.
Points to teach-
It’s very important to teach our kids some important things about bullying-
- Don’t be quiet- Teach the kids to stand up not only for themselves but for their friends and peers too. Teach them how to handle the situation and what to say in different situations and not to be violent but do it verbally. Teach them to take control of the situation but not over react.
- Inform adults- We should teach them to inform adults around them like parents, teachers or any other trusted adult. Sometimes bullies threaten them and they get scared to discuss anything with parents. Teach them to be calm and patient if anybody is bothering you and inform your elders later.
- Be a good example- As parents, we should also set a good example for our kids. Kids follow by example, if they see us standing up for ourselves, they will learn a better lesson. Sometimes, kids learn this behaviour from near ones only like family or friends.
- Being empathetic– Sometimes parents are not aware if their child is bullying other kids in school. It is important to build empathy in your kids. It is parent’s duty to guide them in the right direction by showing them right examples.
- Lack of attention- If a child feels inferior in any way, there are chances of him being a bully or bullied himself. This one can work both ways as when a child feels neglected or there is lack of attention from family or friends. To act cool in front of others, he might pick up on kids weaker than him. On the other hand, there are more chances of him getting bullied. If his parents are not around or he is a loner.
Be open, talk to your kids, teach them good lessons, and above all – Be there for them. 🙂
As they say, “The two words that will make difference in your parenting- BE THERE.”
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September 27, 2016 at 8:02 pm
So very right, be there – 2 words that sums up everything. We all teachers, parents need to teach our children that having a flaw is not a bad thing and supporting each other can bring lot more good things in their lives. I love your posts ?
September 27, 2016 at 9:24 pm
Thanks a lot Shalini for the appreciation & stopping by 🙂
September 27, 2016 at 11:25 pm
parents often forget that they are not here in a competition, they are her to live and to do that they first need to stop making their children give in to peer pressure. The rat race is something that makes everyone do weird things. Menaka Bharathi has recently published /saving-investing-know-exactly
September 27, 2016 at 11:44 pm
Yes Meneka..we need to make kids strong to face anything in life and not be a part of rat race..thanks for stopping by 🙂
September 28, 2016 at 10:56 am
Nice Pointers!
September 28, 2016 at 11:41 am
Thanks Sumit for stopping by 🙂
September 28, 2016 at 12:42 pm
Being bullied is one the worst things that happen to one’s self-esteem! I remember the days when I was bullied as a child by the girls around in school and it sucks to an extent that it gets me till date!
These are some really wonderful tips you have shared here!
Cheers
Geets
September 28, 2016 at 1:44 pm
I know it’s really sad for the kids who get bullied..Thanks for sharing your thoughts and stopping by 🙂
September 28, 2016 at 5:50 pm
Being There is is the most important part of parenting.Support ing them in their struggle s make all the difference. Children who bully have definite psyosocial problems.We want to protect our children.But it’s a difficult challenge.
Children committing suicide is depressing
September 28, 2016 at 6:22 pm
Yes Amrita ..it is really heart breaking to see when kids take such step. Thanks for sharing your thoughts 🙂
September 28, 2016 at 7:36 pm
Helpful post. The most important is that kids should speak up of any such abuse.
September 28, 2016 at 9:43 pm
Thanks for reading Atul 🙂
September 28, 2016 at 8:36 pm
I was bullied in school, such a horrible few years I had, and that led to zero self confidence later on. I was worried that S would be bullied too, and my worst nightmare came true. Imagine 4 year olds bullying other kids, and parents saying boys will be boys. I agree the most important thing I can do for S is to be there for him, and at some level I think the parents of those bullying also need to do that for their kids. All I can do is keep my promise to S of being there for him, irrespective of whatever situation he is in.
September 28, 2016 at 10:02 pm
Yes Jai..u need to be there for him and make him strong as these things can lower their self esteem a lot. Make sure he shares everything with you and help him to make some new friends who can stand up with him too. He is a strong son of a strong mom..so dont worry ..Thanks for stopping by 🙂
September 29, 2016 at 3:27 am
That’s some really nice pointers Deepa. Your last line ‘Be There’ was the most important. These days so many parents seem to have become too busy or end up telling their kids to spend more time on computers, laptops, desktops and more. Most of the time this results in lack of any interaction between the parents and the children and thus parents in the end don’t even know what’s going on with their kids.
September 29, 2016 at 8:19 am
Yes Aseem..we need t be there for our kids..Thanks for reading:)
September 29, 2016 at 6:34 am
You have some amazing pointers there.the most important is being there, supporting them and listening to them. Nicely penned post!
September 29, 2016 at 8:22 am
Thanks Rashmi..glad you liked it 🙂
September 30, 2016 at 10:28 am
It’s so sad to see heard about bullying incidents. To think that a kid can be so cruel to another kid. It is the responsibility of parents to make their kids both aware and compassionate towards fellow beings.
September 30, 2016 at 7:40 pm
Agree..thanks for stopping by 🙂
September 30, 2016 at 5:04 pm
Sad to know about the kid, some give into pressure and take extreme step.
Valid points you’ve mentioned. Be friends to them at times to know their problems.
September 30, 2016 at 7:42 pm
Yup its really sad..Thanks Alok for stopping by 🙂
October 5, 2016 at 11:00 am
I see kids today are way more sensitive and also aggressive than we were when we were growing up. For me friendship was always supporting each other and being there for each other, but today there is intolerance for each other and less deeper friendships. Bullying is more common and more real a problem today than it ever was.
October 5, 2016 at 12:20 pm
Yes Prerna..it is a big problem these days and its heart breaking to see kids going through all this ..Thanks for reading 🙂
October 5, 2016 at 11:58 am
One thing that always tell my kids is – Donot initiate an ugly situation, but if someone does then don’t forget to give it back.
October 5, 2016 at 12:24 pm
We all have to teach our kids in our own way to handle such situations..thanks for stopping by Mandavi 🙂
October 5, 2016 at 12:18 pm
Great thoughts and pointers against bullying.
October 5, 2016 at 12:29 pm
Thanks for stopping by Vasantha 🙂
October 7, 2016 at 9:00 am
Nicely penned. The onus lies on both parents and school to teach kids about bullying.
October 7, 2016 at 10:03 am
Thanks for reading Milan 🙂