I am a new mother, I need your support and not your judgment.
I am a new mother, I need you to guide me and not judge me.
I am a new mother, I need you to make a path for me to follow.
I am a new mom, I am excited but I am also nervous.
So, I want you to hold my hand and support me in all my decisions,
As I believe, “Moms know what’s best for their child.”
As a new mom, there are tons of well-wishers, but there are a lot of critics also who are just waiting to tell you where you are going wrong. The above lines mirror what I think. All new moms feel this when faced with judgment, especially from other women. Those other women who were new moms once and have forgotten the novelty of first-time motherhood.
These are some ‘suggestions’ and remarks people have given new moms that they could do without. If you are trying to support a new mom, there are some friendlier alternatives too.
- Forget ‘alone time’ and spend more time with the baby and less with your partner
A new mother needs some alone time and also support of her partner. As they say, “A happy mom is the best mom.” Instead of making her feel guilty, we should give her some alone time to get her energy back which she needs for her role as new mom.
- Wow, you have gained so much weight!
Do not comment on a new mom’s appearance as she is getting settled in this new phase of her life. She needs everyone’s support in coming back to her pre-pregnancy phase. Being judgemental is never going to help her in any way. Try to boost up her confidence instead of judging her and complaining.
- Do not start solids so soon, keep breastfeeding and do not give milk powders etc.
Believe me, no one is more concerned about her child’s nutrition than a mom. My elder one was little premature and was not able to take her feed properly. I used to get really tensed about the whole feeding process. But luckily, my mother in law and husband were very supportive and helped me through the trying phase.
- Your child is so weak and thin. Keep on breastfeeding him till one year. Looks like you weren’t very careful during your pregnancy
These comments from people neither help a new mom nor make things easier for them. They just make a stressed out new mom more worried. Instead, try a kind and encouraging word which will go a long way in boosting a new mom’s confidence.
- Do not use any outside products and use only natural oils like coconut, olive oil, almond oil etc.
When it comes to caring for your baby’s skin, I’ve realised that you should trust your instinct, while also educating yourself. When I read Baby Dove’s philosophy, a sense of confidence came over me. According to the brand, there is no right or wrong way to be a mother but there is only the way you choose as a mom. It makes me very happy to know that there are brands like Baby Dove out there who understand what new moms go through, and are there reassure moms to trust their way!
Echoing with Baby Dove’s philosophy was one thing that really helped me shut out judgment from other people. I got inspired to try out Baby Dove’s Rich Moisture range. All products are dermatologist and pediatrician tested, hypoallergenic, pH neutral and gentle to the eyes with a mild and caring fragrance specifically developed for delicate baby skin. The Baby Dove lotion soothed dry skin from the very first use, provided superior moisturisation and left my baby’s skin moisturized for a long time.
I won’t deny that oils have benefits but I found that Baby Dove has packed in every essential nutrient required to protect baby’s skin. Baby Dove is helping new moms by making their lives simpler, so why not adopt that thought process in other aspects of our life too?
As they say, “When women support each other, incredible things happen.”
So, let’s judge less and support more.
This post is originally written at World Of Mom.