My reaction when my daughters are not ready to participate in something.
“Why are you not going to participate in the competition? You are good at it and I don’t know why you underestimate yourself. It’s all about trying and not about winning. I am giving your name.”
My husband’s reaction when my daughters are not ready to participate in something.
“It’s OK! We know you are good. Don’t participate if you don’t want to.”
I think you got the point!
But this is just one example where we both think differently. I am actually the one who likes to set limits and he really thinks I am too hard on the kids sometimes. I know that I am the one who pushes our kids for everything and I can also be a nagging mom at times. On the other hand, he is pretty much chilled out about many things.
I think if one parent is strict about certain things, other can be chilled out to maintain a balance. So, it is all about working together as a team and being supportive of each other.
I also think it’s OK to be on a different team sometimes as ultimately the goal is same – Effective parenting. But in front of the kids, parents should be on the same team. They should not argue in front of kids even if they disagree on something.
I and my husband are very different in certain things. There are lots of examples like this where we both think differently and do not agree. I think it’s natural for parents to end up on different pages.
On the other hand, I am lucky that he is always there when we need him as he is a very hands-on-dad. The ways of parenting have really changed. My mom used to handle some tasks and my dad was always available for us when it came to studies. My husband was raised in a house where parental duties were mostly assigned to a mother. In spite of all this, his thinking and parenting ideas are different and I am glad that times have changed.
I am glad, if I get them ready for bed, he tucks them and tells them stories.
I am glad, if I scold them, he pampers them.
I am glad, if I push them, he asks them to take it easy.
I am glad, when I am scared for kid’s health, he is there to hold us and reassure us that all is well.
I am glad, if I say no to junk food, he is there to allow it sometimes.
I am glad, he makes sure to accompany me to all annual days and sports days.
I am glad, when I am a panicky mom, he gives me assurance.
I am glad, he is good in maths, as I am horrible at it.
I am glad, he respects me and takes care of me.
I am glad, my daughters are Daddy’s girls as I was too!
We are working as a team and trying to balance a lot of things. Life is easier when you work together as a team!
Let me know your thoughts about it and how it is in your house.
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September 14, 2017 at 9:14 am
This is such a cute thought of parents still being able to work together despite their differences.
I and my husband have also different ways of parenting and we’re still working so much on how our different approaches should still work together. Also trying hard not to give the kids the impression that one of us is a better parent than the other.
September 14, 2017 at 6:59 pm
September 14, 2017 at 11:10 am
Parenting indeed is a team work.
Wonderfully written. ?
September 14, 2017 at 7:00 pm
Thanks for stopping by AK
September 14, 2017 at 12:29 pm
Though my kids are really young, but I can already see the difference in parenting approach between my husband and myself. I too am a pushy mother while my hubby likes to chill. the poem brought a smile as I could so relate to it.
September 14, 2017 at 7:01 pm
September 14, 2017 at 12:40 pm
Every Parent has their own formula that works for them. Glad this formula is working for you’ll Deepa.
September 14, 2017 at 7:02 pm
September 14, 2017 at 1:33 pm
Totally agree with you here, parenting is a mutual task, agreements and disagreements are always there but till the time it’s result is effective it’s good. My son is very small right now so there are not many incidences where we juggle between decisions, but am proud to have a husband who is always available for his family and breaking the stereotypes by opting his family above anything else.
September 14, 2017 at 7:02 pm
Good to know Neha. Thanks.
September 14, 2017 at 8:20 pm
Same things happens with us. My wife plays a hard ball and I play a soft hand … and its quite essential. You have pointed out the exact things. Kudos!!! Keep writing and inspiring.
September 14, 2017 at 10:56 pm
Thank you Jaspal for stopping by
September 14, 2017 at 8:55 pm
I agree with the post Deepa, I think team work parenting is really important for upbringing of kids.
September 14, 2017 at 10:58 pm
September 15, 2017 at 2:06 pm
I agree with your views. It takes two people to conceive the baby. So both need to take care of it. Thankfully my husband helps a lot. Though our parenting thoughts are quite different 🙂
September 15, 2017 at 10:37 pm
September 15, 2017 at 6:20 pm
No doubt the dynamics of parenting are changing and it’s about shared parenting these days. The benefits are immense for kids as well. Loved your short poem on this
September 15, 2017 at 7:59 pm
Times really have changed and its great to see this generation of fathers taking their parenting duties seriously. That’s how it should be and that’s how we will raise a new generation that truly believes in gender equality! 🙂
September 15, 2017 at 10:38 pm
September 15, 2017 at 9:47 pm
True that! Parenting becomes a bit easier when we are a team
September 15, 2017 at 10:39 pm
September 16, 2017 at 1:15 am
It’s the same here. When I’m strict the hubby is loving and vice versa. Parenting is most definitely team work. Both parents have to be on the same page else it’s confusing for the child
September 16, 2017 at 4:31 am
Very appropriate points. In my family, mom was the stricter one and dad was always chilled out. Though my husband had the opposite. But in my case I try to be the one setting limits, while he works on the chilling part.
September 16, 2017 at 8:55 am
Pretty much the similar at my place… I am the bad cop at times hehehehe ….Loved reading it and it makes sense too. For a effective parenting we need the best effort of both the parents.
September 16, 2017 at 11:30 am
Parenting is indeed a team effort and I liked the way how you both are doing it. Life is easy and better when you have an understanding and supportive partner.
September 16, 2017 at 1:54 pm
September 16, 2017 at 11:45 am
Hi Deepa! I could relate so much to this post. From the competitions to being bad in math to junk food and more. My husband and I are exactly like that as well. I agree to everything that you wrote…maybe different but its a good balance and makes for effective parenting. I warmly invite you to read my blogposts at https://thetinaedit.com/. Hope to see you there soon. Love and Cheers, Tina
September 16, 2017 at 1:57 pm
Thank you Tina. Glad you liked it. I will be visiting you soon. 🙂
September 16, 2017 at 1:59 pm
Awesome! Looking forward to it! Hugs!
September 16, 2017 at 1:48 pm
I so agree that team work parenting is necessary not only to share the load , but also to have a balanced and two different views to the same thing.
September 16, 2017 at 1:57 pm