No matter what you do or say, exams still give jitters not only to kids but also to parents. Especially in our country still, it is all about the pressure, anxiety, and stress. It’s almost final exams time and this year my elder one is giving 10th-grade boards. My husband and I were always OK with less pressure in school and that’s why we really liked the methodology and curriculum of her school. But as soon as she entered 8th grade, we saw the difference.
I think if you are in India, there is bound to be a pressure of studies and exams at some point. You cannot run away from the rat race how much you try. We do not want our girls to be a part of this rat race but when I see around, it makes me wonder – Are we making right decisions for our girls?
I am sharing few tips from my experience as a mom of a teen and a preteen.
Do not compare –
Comparison causes competition and competition cause stress. I have personally observed and experienced this with myself as a teenager and now with my kids. If you even generally talk about some other child doing well in studies, even if it’s in a positive manner, can lead to competition. This can make kids unhappy, paranoid and stressed. The fear of being in a competition can be stressful for a child.
Whenever you talk to them, talk in a positive manner and encourage them. Why discuss other kids and what they are doing?
Encourage them to take a break –
Going out to play for some time, reading a book, meeting a friend or just going out for a walk is important. Encourage your kids to take a break in between as it not only rejuvenates them but also reduces unwanted stress and improves concentration. Meditation is also good as their mind is occupied with multiple things at the same time. They can wake up early in the morning and can meditate for some time just before starting to study.
Be positive –
Many kids are giving boards exams this year like every year and are already anxious about the future. As a parent, you need to be careful about everything you say or do as it is not an easy time for them too. Try not to force your decisions but guide them about what all options are available for further studies. The kids should not feel lack of support from you as a parent.
Nutrition plays an important role –
Make sure they eat well while studying and are well nourished and healthy during exam time. My elder one tends to skip meals sometimes due to exam pressure and I make sure to give her something light after every 2 hours. Give protein-rich foods, reduce junk and high carbs which can make them sleepy and lethargic. A detailed post on nutrition tips during exams coming up soon.
The tricks –
Kids of all ages undergo anxiety when its exam time. I have observed this in my preteen who is normally very carefree about the whole thing but during exams gets anxious. The few tricks which I share with my daughters are – PLAN, PRACTICE, and PAUSE. Always plan and schedule. Make a timetable which can help you to plan the whole syllabus. Once you are done with scheduling, practice makes the things perfect. After you are done with everything, pause, think and reflect.
Sometimes the pressure by parents is unintentional but keeping these points in mind can surely help you and your kid during exam time. Every child is different and has different methods to study. Just judge what works for you and your child and work on that. All the best!
Also, read – Tips to reduce the pressure during exam time
Please share if you have any tips or tricks which you use to help your child.
#MondayMommyMoments is a weekly linky for moms. Read more about it here.
February 19, 2018 at 11:24 pm
these are great tips deepa, and I agreed in India there is tremendous amount of pressure not only on kids, but on parents as well. here in USA, there is a major difference in educational system. in USA, it is always about learning and exploring the new things. though, being an indian mom, I always concern about my girls studies pattern, thanks for this wonderful advice, will share my post very soon.
February 20, 2018 at 8:20 am
I know Surbhi, in the US it’s completely different and we can see a change in our country too but its still a long way to go. Hoping to see a change soon.
February 20, 2018 at 7:07 am
Nice article. In India, Exam stress is very common among kids. Parents shouldn’t compare their children’s performance with others and instead guide them to understand concepts and encourage them to excel.
February 20, 2018 at 8:21 am
Yes Mahati. Parents need to be careful while handling kids and encourage them at every point.
February 20, 2018 at 7:24 am
Useful pointers Deepa. I don’t need any reminders that exams are round the corner. Even though the boards are a few years away, it is a big deal for the kids. And I seem to be more stressed than them. Do you have some tips for mums as well? All I tell keep telling myself is *Deep Breaths Deep Breaths*!
February 20, 2018 at 8:26 am
I get stressed too especially when elder one’s boards are fast approaching. But trying to not show my stress to her as I have seen kids getting the sense of pressure if parents are under stress. Deep breaths, prepare before with them and smile- these are some tips for moms. 🙂
February 20, 2018 at 8:49 am
I think the way we teach our kids to handle stress in this age highly determines their level of endurance for later too. These are some great tips, Deepa.
February 21, 2018 at 7:26 am
Let’s not kid ourselves, in a country where numbers matter exam stress is to be expected. What is equally important is to prepare your child for possible failure. It’s ok if he fails . It’s not the end of the world .
February 21, 2018 at 3:56 pm
Staying positive and providing positive reinforcements goes a long way in building and fortifying the confidence of the child.
I play games like Jenga, chess, ludo with my son when he feels bored and takes a break. I read short stories to him or he reads it to me too.
February 21, 2018 at 6:52 pm
These are great tips Anagha from another mom of a teenager. Thanks 🙂
February 22, 2018 at 8:30 pm
I like the three P’s plan, practise and pause. Great tips! #mmm
February 23, 2018 at 1:10 pm
Some very important points. If we stop comparing, we can recognize the real talent of kids. Most of the parents force kids to peruse something just because Mr. Sharma’s kids are doing so. It only bring more pressure for kids and when they study something without interest, exams brings even more distress.
February 24, 2018 at 9:20 pm
Exams are the times that is stressful to both moms and kids. But it all depends on how mom takes and plans it that benefits both. Great points especially to keep encouraging the child.
February 25, 2018 at 2:21 pm
Some of the points mentioned are the ones my mom practised – Plan Practise and Pause. Breaks and nutrition are equally important.
February 26, 2018 at 10:57 am
Your post reminded me of my teenage when my parents went out of the way to make exams a comfortable time for me. I am still far from that stage as a mother, but loved your post.
February 28, 2018 at 9:28 am
Though my daughters are small and I am relieved from this stress currently, but your post reminded me of the days when I was a kid and used to stress a lot before the exam night.
March 9, 2018 at 10:48 am
Nice tips Deepa, very helpful to beat exam stress. In India, parents train their kids for competition and not for innovation. And as you said, competition results in making kids stressful. Definitely meditation will help to reduce their stress. Anxiety is another concern and children can overcome it by practicing breathing and laughing therapy.