Do you push your kids to be only doctors or engineers?
Do you still think these are the only two careers which are the best for your child?
Are you not aware of alternative career choices in India?
Do you convince your kids that art or music can be just hobbies and not careers?
If your answer to all the above questions is a yes, you need to wake up. I know we still have to go a long way but if your child wants to be something different, why stop him/her?
Sometimes the parent’s ambition comes before the child’s happiness and career choice.
My dad was a senior professor of Chemistry and he used to tutor many kids for medical and engineer entrance. I remember one child whose father was a famous doctor in our city. The child was not very bright in studies but the father wanted his son to be a doctor at any cost. The child was a very good football player but his father had big plans for him. The boy had no interest in medicine at all but didn’t want to be a disappointment for his dad. He finally became a doctor as a result of his father being so pushy with him when he was younger.
Now, this is just one example but we have many such parents around us who want their child to succeed at all costs. They push them towards a particular career path although it may not be in their child’s best interests or they might have interest in other areas.
We still see so many parents around who feel there are only two career fields in India. Once my husband mentioned that we are fine with whatever our girls choose and we faced a lot of flak for this from some of our family and friends.
My husband and I were always happy with less pressure in school too. We didn’t want our girls to be a part of the rat race and we will be fine if they want to choose something unconventional too. We always told them to just do whatever they love and give it their best.
Please stop judging other parents who do not want their kids to go the conventional way. If our kids want to be a doctor or engineer, we are more than happy but if they don’t, then we are going to support and guide them.
Being too pushy can have a negative effect on children, and can be a discouragement for them. Next time your child shows interest in something or shares with you regarding his field of interest, show some love.
Let your child fly, do not clip his wings.
Let them choose a different field.
Guide them and be with them in their decision.
Not every child is same,
Celebrate the differences and encourage the creativity.
This post is inspired by two people. First, my 10th-grade daughter who is sure about few things but still unsure about many others. I can see that she is already feeling the pressure from outside world and get confused with so many new things she is exploring. This is difficult time for teenagers as these 3 years decide their future. So, as a parent, I want to be with her, holding her hand and ensuring her that we are always with her in whatever she decides. We will guide her but never discourage her or stop her from following her dreams.
Second, one of my friend Neha started a series of posts on the similar topic – #Learnnoteducate. I loved all her posts where she introduced different people in unconventional careers.
December 26, 2017 at 12:08 pm
Thank you Deepa for mentioning me! We need more parents being open to accepting their Children’s preferences. Hope we can together make a difference. #LearnNotEducate
December 26, 2017 at 12:26 pm
Nothing better than this thought in your post Deepa, right now for parents like me. You mirrored my thoughts!
Child is a gift to a parent and he or she not the toy. Its rather responsibility of parents to let them be what they are and not what we want. Its their life on which we have no right to impose our wishes and ambitions. Lets not spoil the life that we brought on this earth.
December 26, 2017 at 2:42 pm
Thanks Anagha..Glad you could relate to the post.
December 26, 2017 at 5:34 pm
My son is 9 and he says he’ll become an engineer since both of us are. I’ve told him family professions are silly and don’t work and he should concentrate on what he likes instead. Feel proud of myself for realising he deserves his freedom to choose, to be honest. Hats off and best wishes to Neha for her endeavour.
December 26, 2017 at 6:26 pm
Great Varsh. Its better to let them be whatever they want to be. Thanks for reading 🙂
December 26, 2017 at 6:01 pm
I second your thoughts Deepa Though, I am not there yet but I will let my Kids choose whatever they wish to but that only comes with the wisdom they gain in their growing years. I too wrote on the topic once- https://lifethroughmybioscope.com/pushy-parents-dream-through-children/
December 26, 2017 at 6:27 pm
Thanks for stopping by Upasna.
December 27, 2017 at 3:16 pm
heart touching beautiful post
December 29, 2017 at 1:44 pm
Very imprtant post, especially in the Indian scenario where we tend to push for excellence often forgetting to nuture inner creativity and talent of our children.
December 29, 2017 at 5:45 pm
Very well written. I’m sure your daughter will find her way. We need to let our children choose their own path and be there to guide and support them
December 30, 2017 at 6:48 am
I am totally agree with thoughts, and I can co-relate with each emotions you had expressed. being a mommy of two dolls, I had few dreams for them but at last I want to keep their choices always ahead than me. it should be more about the right direction rather than putting a pressure on them. thanks a lot for writing about a really sensitive topic that needs an attention from all of us.
December 31, 2017 at 5:29 pm
You’ve addressed a very common problem in parenting. Great post!
January 1, 2018 at 11:06 am
I am so so sooo glad you have written about this. We have always been sure that we want Karma to choose her own path but i think parents are our generation are more open minded about it. But yes, it’s not as widespread as it should be and more people need to speak up.