C for Competition.
Do you let your child think freely?
Do you always push your child to excel in everything?
Are you trying to burden them with your expectations?
Is it good to burden a child with your own dreams?
If your answer to any of the above question is YES then I want to ask you this-
Why do you want your child to excel in everything?
Don’t you think it’s important for a child to choose his/her own field if interest?
I know that children need our guidance as they are also confused sometimes. But there is a difference between guidance and pressure.
There is a thin line between both, so it’s better to understand the difference for benefit of your child.
As a mother of a teen, I know how it is when it comes to exams, competitions and anything related to studies. And it is not only about studies these days. You can even get to see it in the extracurricular activities or anything else for that matter.
I always encourage my kids to participate in competitions but never ask them to excel in them. It breaks my heart to see kids going through so much pressure.
My kids just finished their final exams and we keep on telling them to give their best but do not think of the result.
[bctt tweet=”During exams parents should say this to their kids- Do your best and leave the rest. #kreativemommy” username=”Deepagandhi1″]
My elder one was upset about some subjects and kept on asking us, “Will you be upset if I get less marks?” And like always we told her that she is more important to us than marks. We will never be upset if she gets fewer marks, but we will be upset if we think she has not given her best.
Points to remember-
Although the things have changed in India, there is still a long way to go. Do not make winning and losing as important as living and dying.
There are many competitions in life and one thing which really helps is confidence. My next post is about something which can help kids to easily sail through any competition. Stay tuned. 🙂
What do you think about the competition and winning?
April 4, 2017 at 12:21 am
I haven’t taken myself there as yet – but I leave it up to Bluey what to do (destroy) today!
April 4, 2017 at 8:38 am
I know..u still have a lot of time to think about it. Wait till school starts and you will observe all this. Thanks Tina 🙂
April 4, 2017 at 1:02 pm
When we show enough confidence in them, they’ll flourish!
April 4, 2017 at 1:27 pm
Thanks Sheethal 🙂
April 4, 2017 at 1:33 pm
I feel healthy competition is good .Most importantly to do ones best .Only competition should be your own self. Trying to do better than your own as report card.Life is not easy .While I never give myself pressure or my daughter pressure ,we like doing things things to the best of our abilities in everything we do .Work or play ,anything worth doing is worth doing well.Unfortunately in life we need to work really hard .Healthy hard work is the best part .But no comparison .I feel that’s the most important part
April 4, 2017 at 2:53 pm
Agree Amrita..That’s my point exactly. Healthy competition is good but not pushing them for the things they are not interested in. Thanks 🙂
April 4, 2017 at 1:46 pm
I so well resonated to the fact dear that our kids are not our trophy for show off..I had been a little pushy earlier bit I corrected myself on time.
Truly Yours Roma
April 4, 2017 at 2:54 pm
Parenting is all about learning for parents and we learn from mistakes too. Thanks Roma 🙂
April 4, 2017 at 2:28 pm
These are excellent points Deeps. Why put some much pressure on those little kids to excel in everything. As long as they enjoy doing it, it should be fine.
April 4, 2017 at 2:54 pm
Thanks Raj..glad you liked it 🙂
April 4, 2017 at 3:19 pm
It’s such a fine line sometimes between encouraging them to succeed at something you know they can do (jumping off the diving board would be my current example) and pushing them too hard. Some great advice here.
April 4, 2017 at 3:28 pm
Agree Louise..it is a fine line. Thanks for reading 🙂
April 4, 2017 at 3:40 pm
When parents get pushy kids start distancing themselves. Which is usually the beginning of both, the parent and the child, losing out.
It is never right to live your dreams through your children.
As always your posts are a voice of reason, Deeps.An experience shared without getting preachy.
April 4, 2017 at 8:34 pm
Thanks Mayuri:)
April 4, 2017 at 3:57 pm
It is always best to let the children do what they want and how they want, if it is good. Pushing will only make them hate it more!
Crushes
April 4, 2017 at 8:34 pm
Thanks Swathi 🙂
April 4, 2017 at 4:56 pm
I think we all want our children to do their very best. Competition, however, can be damaging and force a child to be what they are not. This post is full of wisdom.
April 4, 2017 at 6:59 pm
Thanks a lot 🙂
April 4, 2017 at 5:20 pm
Sure indeed.. as you have said, there is a thin line between being that pushy parent and understand and letting your child just be. On many occassions I end up pushing my child but soon realise it, and try to calm down and take it easy. Boy parenting is a tough job!
April 4, 2017 at 6:59 pm
Thanks a lot Ramya 🙂
April 4, 2017 at 5:51 pm
This is one advice that I feel lot of parents need to follow! Sure, they want the benefit of their child but in doing so, the child loses his self-esteem in between! I liked your take on C!
Cheers
BoisterousBee
April 4, 2017 at 7:00 pm
Thanks a lot Geet 🙂
April 4, 2017 at 6:21 pm
There is a fine line between encouraging/guiding and being pushy. Nice post.
— Fellow A-Z Challenger
April 4, 2017 at 7:01 pm
Thanks Usha 🙂
April 4, 2017 at 7:36 pm
I always have this one liner – the world is not the 10 people we know, it is huge, and to compete with this meager 10 people is like pushing yourselves downward. No giving in to peerpressure
Launching SIM Organics
*Menaka Bharathi*
*SimpleIndianMom*
April 4, 2017 at 8:29 pm
Thanks for stopping by Menaka 🙂
April 4, 2017 at 8:01 pm
Absolutely the right way to go about it… never push for excellence. Allow them to unearth their natural talents. Our job is to nurture and guide, not beat down to submission.
April 4, 2017 at 8:30 pm
Thanks Roshan 🙂
April 4, 2017 at 10:27 pm
Yes kids must be encouraged to do what they like to do and not be pushed into doing something. Lovely piece of advice Deepa 🙂
April 4, 2017 at 10:41 pm
Thanks Reema 🙂
April 4, 2017 at 10:59 pm
I have seen that if you put too much pressure on your child to do well academically, it can backfire severely and end up affecting him negatively in a number of different ways. We should encourage our kids to do their best but putting pressure to excel or comparing with other kids or getting your aspirations fulfilled through them is a big No.
April 4, 2017 at 11:07 pm
Bang on! Pressure and pushing is not going to help any one. Thanks Shilpa 🙂
April 4, 2017 at 11:11 pm
I needed to read this since it’s exam time. But jokes apart I don’t think I’m capable of pushing the kids at all beyond a point. But I’ve seen mums and dads more worried about the child’s marks than the child herself. It’s quite a sight during the PTMs.
April 4, 2017 at 11:29 pm
I know there are people who actually do this a lot. Thanks Tulika 🙂
April 5, 2017 at 8:48 am
What children need is sheer encouragement and some inspiration…pushing them often yields negative results. A very timely post…
April 5, 2017 at 8:52 am
Thanks Maniparna for stopping by 🙂
April 5, 2017 at 2:10 pm
Excellent post. I agree with you. Allow them to do what they like. Guidance is must. But its their time to explore and enjoy what they do.
April 5, 2017 at 3:40 pm
Thanks Shalini 🙂