Overall development of a child depends a lot on the confidence and self-esteem. Being confident about yourself and what you do can really help you and take you places.
I have a two very different kids at home. My tween or pre teen is very active, talkative, and restless and a witty child but she is shy outside. She takes her own sweet time to open up with new people.
On the other hand, my teenager is an extrovert and very friendly from the starting and likes to talk to other people. She is not shy at all. But she has her own days and moods which sometimes surprise us. But I can’t blame her as she is a ‘teenager’.
I wrote a post about making an introvert more friendly few days back. You can read it here- Is your child an introvert?
Today I am sharing some tips related to teens and pre teens.
Basic nature is difficult to change. I am trying to bring my pre teen out from her shyness but sometimes it’s a child’s basic nature which is hard to change. As a parent, you can give them exposure, take them out to different classes, try everything possible, but it’s always better not to force a child into anything.
Be a role model yourself and show them your own confidence and ability to tackle different situations. I talk to my girls a lot about different ways to tackle a situation and keep telling them stories of the time when I was a teenager. There are chances that they won’t be interested to listen as this is the age when they think, “They know it all” but don’t give up. (Anyways, we moms have a habit of giving lecture even when we know nobody is listening.) 🙂
Keep encouraging them as there will be times when they feel as if its end of the world. Parents have to make sure that they don’t get discouraged by small things. We have to show them the right path.
Guide them but do not help them. There is a difference in both and as parents, you need to be there for them and guide them but do not try to help them at every stage of life. If you help them today in everything, you are creating problems for them in the future. When they do things themselves and solve their own issues, it’s really going to boost their confidence.
Appreciate the efforts and do not focus on winning or losing. You need to send a positive message to them about what they do and how they do it. Always appreciate even if they lose a game or any activity at school.
We have a rule at our house about celebrating their participation in different things. Why celebrate only winning?
A few days back, my preteen went for a basketball match with school and was upset when they didn’t win. We still celebrated as we wanted her to get the message that her participation is what really matters to us.
[bctt tweet=”A child should know that participation is more important than winning #Parenting” username=”Deepagandhi1″]
I am sharing all these points from my experiences as a mom of a teen and a pre-teen. They might or might not work for you. The most important thing is to be there for your kids when they need you, especially at this stage. It is a time of a lot of confusion for pre teens and teens.
Be there for them, guide them and show them that you care.
Share the ways to make an introvert child more friendly or to boost their confidence.
We have two winners for last week’s prompt. Shipra Trivedi and Vidhi Duggal. Read Shipras post full of memories here and Vidhis post full of wisdom here.
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August 28, 2017 at 1:28 pm
It will be a huge surprise if I did say that I was bullied when I was a preteen as I was too dark. your post so so relevant in these days where confidence and over all development is a need for children.
August 28, 2017 at 1:33 pm
I am not surprised Shweta as we all have our own memories of the time when we were at this stage. I agree, these days its even more and that’s why kids need parents support. Thanks a lot for stopping by. 🙂
August 28, 2017 at 3:01 pm
Your post comes from experience which is why it is such an honest one, Deepa. I loved that you mentioned, ‘Be a role model’ as i always believe children don’t listen to what you say, but see what you do.
August 28, 2017 at 6:16 pm
Thanks Mayuri 🙂
August 28, 2017 at 10:53 pm
Great post! My favorite part is “guide them” not help them. There is quite a difference and it’s amazing how many of my friends make that mistake with their kids. It’s so hard being a kid nowadays.
August 29, 2017 at 8:13 am
Thank you. Glad you liked it.
August 28, 2017 at 11:00 pm
I agree when you mention that we need to guide our children and not help them every time. It’s important that they learn to take decisions, arrive at solutions independently. These are useful tips for me as I have a 8 year old daughter.
August 29, 2017 at 8:13 am
Thanks Aesha
August 29, 2017 at 1:31 am
I’m not a parent yet; however I could relate to your post on several levels. Thank you for sharing this insightful post.
August 29, 2017 at 8:14 am
Thanks
August 29, 2017 at 8:31 am
It’s so so important to teach children to have confidence while they’re young. Especially during their adolescence! Such a vital post. I love it!
xo, Taylor || The Millennial Sprinkle (thesprinkle.tayloramead.com)
August 29, 2017 at 9:20 am
Helpful tips to make me prepared for the tween and teen years .Luckily my daughter is social in all the right ways .But now she is only five .Reading this makes me better prepared .
August 29, 2017 at 10:23 am
I am not there yet but I know I will reach a similar situation as with your tween since D is just like her. Being the role model is important but not easy.
August 29, 2017 at 4:20 pm
Thanks Anamika
August 29, 2017 at 1:17 pm
I wasn’t a shy teen but I have been bullied and somewhere I wish I knew how to tackle that or not let it get to me. This is really informative post for all us as future parents to help our kids go through a awkward and confusing stage in their life.
August 29, 2017 at 2:12 pm
Thanks Shubhreet
August 29, 2017 at 5:13 pm
I was an introvert child ! I read that post as well. This is a pointer list kind of post which will help me in how to handle confidence issues when she grows up.Even as a child I felt really low on confidence sometimes.Often parents know their kids inside out , but sometimes due to some issue or the other find it difficult to handle such situations! thanks for this post Deepa
August 30, 2017 at 9:24 am
Thanks Udita for sharing your thoughts.
August 29, 2017 at 5:40 pm
Great post, super helpful tips here.
August 30, 2017 at 9:24 am
Thanks
August 29, 2017 at 7:24 pm
These days confidence and participation is must for kids for their overall development. In fact kids of this generation are more energetic and even over confident. Your points are great for raising confidence in shy kids.
August 30, 2017 at 9:25 am
Yes Minakshi. These things boost confidence. Thanks.
August 29, 2017 at 7:50 pm
I loved that you mentioned, ‘Be a role model’ as i always believe children don’t listen to what you say, but see what you do, Thanks for sharing!
August 30, 2017 at 9:25 am
Thanks
August 29, 2017 at 9:34 pm
Such sound advice. It’s never a good idea to force anyone to do anything, and with children that becomes even more important because they seem to want to do the opposite of what we tell them. In such a case, guiding, encouraging, and supporting them is the best thing we can do.
Nikita.
August 30, 2017 at 9:26 am
Agree Nikita. Forcing does not help. Thanks.
August 29, 2017 at 11:11 pm
I agree when you mention that we need to I totally agree that we need to guide our little ones and not keep hovering around them all the time. It’s important to let them make decisions too which would definitely help them in being a confident and independent individual.
August 30, 2017 at 9:26 am
Thanks Preetjyot.
August 30, 2017 at 7:45 am
Yes it is important to encourage kids ….specially after a loss. Great tips on boosting confidence in children. My daughters are like how me and my sister were ?
August 30, 2017 at 9:28 am
Thanks Raj
August 30, 2017 at 8:06 pm
I would consider myself as a shy teen while growing up. Some how I broke free and I’m more open with others…
August 30, 2017 at 10:51 pm
Thanks
August 30, 2017 at 8:50 pm
I myself was shy and reserved soul so I can related to this post very well. I like encouraging the most. With little appreciation, kids can feel more confident and can be more vocal.
August 30, 2017 at 10:51 pm
Thanks Shipra
August 31, 2017 at 11:15 am
What a great post to read. I remember when my little brother talked to me about his confidence. I told him that confidence might not bring success to him, but it would give him power to face any challenges.
-Gerome of G&D Blog
http://www.gdblog.net
August 31, 2017 at 4:25 pm
Thank you
September 1, 2017 at 1:56 am
“Celebrating Participation”… WOW!! I remember my parents always encourage to participate and emphasized that I should do “on my OWN”, and have never given importance to winning. Thanks for the Reminder when my lil baby would be reaching that age, I have to follow same.
September 1, 2017 at 7:46 am
Thank you 🙂
September 3, 2017 at 10:04 pm
You have shared very useful points. Teens and preteens is a phase where children need the support and encouragement of their parents the most. True, that we must celebrate participation and not just winning.
September 3, 2017 at 10:50 pm
Thanks Vidhi.
September 10, 2017 at 10:59 am
Your girls are lucky they have a sensible and sensitive mother who is aware of her children and doesn’t push them. Do these tips apply to boys too? Or are they to be tweaked for boys? I am asking this question because I brought up two girls and find that their behaviour is quite different from my two grandsons.
September 10, 2017 at 5:51 pm
Thanks for the kind words. These tips are for boys too. There is not much difference between two. Their interests can be different.
September 12, 2017 at 2:35 pm
very informative post. thanks for sharing
September 13, 2017 at 11:02 am
Thanks priyank