Overall development of a child depends a lot on the confidence and self-esteem. Being confident about yourself and what you do can really help you and take you places.

I have a two very different kids at home. My tween or pre teen is very active, talkative, and restless and a witty child but she is shy outside. She takes her own sweet time to open up with new people.

On the other hand, my teenager is an extrovert and very friendly from the starting and likes to talk to other people. She is not shy at all. But she has her own days and moods which sometimes surprise us. But I can’t blame her as she is a ‘teenager’.

I wrote a post about making an introvert more friendly few days back. You can read it here- Is your child an introvert?

Today I am sharing some tips related to teens and pre teens.

Basic nature is difficult to change. I am trying to bring my pre teen out from her shyness but sometimes it’s a child’s basic nature which is hard to change. As a parent, you can give them exposure, take them out to different classes, try everything possible,  but it’s always better not to force a child into anything.

Be a role model yourself and show them your own confidence and ability to tackle different situations. I talk to my girls a lot about different ways to tackle a situation and keep telling them stories of the time when I was a teenager. There are chances that they won’t be interested to listen as this is the age when they think, “They know it all” but don’t give up. (Anyways, we moms have a habit of giving lecture even when we know nobody is listening.) 🙂

Keep encouraging them as there will be times when they feel as if its end of the world. Parents have to make sure that they don’t get discouraged by small things. We have to show them the right path.

Guide them but do not help them. There is a difference in both and as parents, you need to be there for them and guide them but do not try to help them at every stage of life. If you help them today in everything, you are creating problems for them in the future. When they do things themselves and solve their own issues, it’s really going to boost their confidence.

Appreciate the efforts and do not focus on winning or losing. You need to send a positive message to them about what they do and how they do it. Always appreciate even if they lose a game or any activity at school.

We have a rule at our house about celebrating their participation in different things. Why celebrate only winning?

A few days back, my preteen went for a basketball match with school and was upset when they didn’t win. We still celebrated as we wanted her to get the message that her participation is what really matters to us.

[bctt tweet=”A child should know that participation is more important than winning #Parenting” username=”Deepagandhi1″]

I am sharing all these points from my experiences as a mom of a teen and a pre-teen. They might or might not work for you. The most important thing is to be there for your kids when they need you, especially at this stage. It is a time of a lot of confusion for pre teens and teens.

Be there for them, guide them and show them that you care.

Share the ways to make an introvert child more friendly or to boost their confidence.


We have two winners for last week’s prompt. Shipra Trivedi and Vidhi Duggal. Read Shipras post full of memories here and Vidhis post full of wisdom here.




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