Recently 10thgrade and 12th-grade board exam results were declared for all the boards across India. While many children came out with flying colours, some of them are not happy with what they got. They (including parents and relatives) expected more than they got and that’s what makes them sad.
My daughter also gave her 10th class boards this year and day when results were coming out, I felt as if my results were coming out. It was exactly the same feeling I got during my 10th-grade results. Board exams are still considered a time when not only the child is under pressure but parents too. It is still a time when your relatives and family friends are more concerned than yourself.
So, the point is that the pressure is high. The parents who are not supportive of their kids make it more difficult. Already school, peer pressure makes it tough for them. Parents need to tell them that they are there for them and boards result is not something which decides how their life turns out to be. Although it does make a difference it is not the end of the world if you don’t get 99.99999%.
Things not to say after board exam results-
Never say, “I am disappointed in you.”
– You should not be disappointed in your kids but it is the education system which is disappointing. It tests kids on the basis of their cramming power and not practical knowledge. It’s natural for parents to feel that way as they all want their kids to do good in future. But showing them that you are not happy with their grades are going to make matters worse.
Never say, “Your friends got more than you.”
– Comparison kills creativity, makes a child resentful and possibilities are they might start hating the person you compare them with. The comparison makes them think that they are not good enough. It’s important to tell them that someone will always be better than them and it doesn’t matter. Board exam results are not the end of the world.
Never say, “You didn’t work hard.”
When you say anything like this, they know that they have let you down. I have observed this in my daughter that this feeling that they have let their parents down, breaks them. Kids these days already have a lot on their plate and your expectations can make the things worse. Don’t burden them with your undue expectations. Kids with no pressure at home always do better. Let them breathe and flourish.
As a parent, keep your expectations, disappointments, and fears aside when your child’s board results are announced. This is a time when they need your appreciation and encouragement and not a lifelong guilt. It is already a stressful time, so, avoid saying things that can make it more stressful for them.
Irrespective of good, bad or excellent scores, here are few things which you should say to your kids after their board exam results-
- Make sure they know that you understand what they are feeling – ‘I understand you wanted to do better and you are upset.’
- Tell them you are always there for them. Just a reassurance at this time helps them to stay calm. – “No matter what happens in life, we are always here for you and will support you in everything you do.”
- If they got good results, make sure they know that you are really happy for them. Also, in future, if it’s not this good, you will still love them. Sometimes after getting good grades, children keep high hopes for themselves and are afraid to fail. As a parent, we can’t protect them all the time but we can prepare them for the future.
What are your thoughts about the same? What do you think a parent should say or do during exam results time?