Recently 10thgrade and 12th-grade board exam results were declared for all the boards across India. While many children came out with flying colours, some of them are not happy with what they got. They (including parents and relatives) expected more than they got and that’s what makes them sad.
My daughter also gave her 10th class boards this year and day when results were coming out, I felt as if my results were coming out. It was exactly the same feeling I got during my 10th-grade results. Board exams are still considered a time when not only the child is under pressure but parents too. It is still a time when your relatives and family friends are more concerned than yourself.
So, the point is that the pressure is high. The parents who are not supportive of their kids make it more difficult. Already school, peer pressure makes it tough for them. Parents need to tell them that they are there for them and boards result is not something which decides how their life turns out to be. Although it does make a difference it is not the end of the world if you don’t get 99.99999%.
Things not to say after board exam results-
Never say, “I am disappointed in you.”
– You should not be disappointed in your kids but it is the education system which is disappointing. It tests kids on the basis of their cramming power and not practical knowledge. It’s natural for parents to feel that way as they all want their kids to do good in future. But showing them that you are not happy with their grades are going to make matters worse.
Never say, “Your friends got more than you.”
– Comparison kills creativity, makes a child resentful and possibilities are they might start hating the person you compare them with. The comparison makes them think that they are not good enough. It’s important to tell them that someone will always be better than them and it doesn’t matter. Board exam results are not the end of the world.
Never say, “You didn’t work hard.”
When you say anything like this, they know that they have let you down. I have observed this in my daughter that this feeling that they have let their parents down, breaks them. Kids these days already have a lot on their plate and your expectations can make the things worse. Don’t burden them with your undue expectations. Kids with no pressure at home always do better. Let them breathe and flourish.
As a parent, keep your expectations, disappointments, and fears aside when your child’s board results are announced. This is a time when they need your appreciation and encouragement and not a lifelong guilt. It is already a stressful time, so, avoid saying things that can make it more stressful for them.
Irrespective of good, bad or excellent scores, here are few things which you should say to your kids after their board exam results-
- Make sure they know that you understand what they are feeling – ‘I understand you wanted to do better and you are upset.’
- Tell them you are always there for them. Just a reassurance at this time helps them to stay calm. – “No matter what happens in life, we are always here for you and will support you in everything you do.”
- If they got good results, make sure they know that you are really happy for them. Also, in future, if it’s not this good, you will still love them. Sometimes after getting good grades, children keep high hopes for themselves and are afraid to fail. As a parent, we can’t protect them all the time but we can prepare them for the future.
What are your thoughts about the same? What do you think a parent should say or do during exam results time?
May 31, 2018 at 8:45 am
I think one must accept the child the way they are. And guidance must be given well before the exams. Not once the results are out. These words could decrease the morale of the child even more. Well said Deepa!
June 2, 2018 at 9:06 am
Very well said sister. All the three are important. When a parent says I am there for you the kid will be confident to face the world.
June 2, 2018 at 3:33 pm
Timely article. Parents should be careful of the choice of words they use with their kids considering the extreme step kids take these days..?
June 2, 2018 at 11:13 pm
Very well articulated. As a parent,I am sure these three tips we have to keep in our mind always with our kids.For kids, parents are their world.
June 3, 2018 at 10:44 pm
A very important reminder for all parents. Agree with those points. Doubting your child demotivates him. Empathy should never be forgotten.
June 4, 2018 at 10:21 am
Not only for those who are giving board exams but one should not say it to kids in general. We must appreciate kids for their efforts despoid their age. Very well written post.
June 4, 2018 at 12:31 pm
Yes Vidhi, its for any exam and not only boards. Kids need encouragement and support. Thanks for reading.
June 4, 2018 at 12:05 pm
Wow ! this was such a sensitive and intelligent message to all the parents. I hope more and more parents understand the importance of not passing on their fears to their kids. I too am only learning to do so.
June 4, 2018 at 12:30 pm
Yes, Anupriya. It is important for parents to understand this. Thank. Glad you liked it.
June 4, 2018 at 6:39 pm
Such a wonderful post! Very well pointed out point about how never to compare your kids with others, which not only lowers their confidence but also decreases the willingness to work harder the next time.I am sure the parents will find this article very useful.
June 4, 2018 at 7:15 pm
Thanks. Glad you liked it.
June 4, 2018 at 9:57 pm
Students are already under pressure during the exam time and of course during results. They need positivity at that time.
June 5, 2018 at 12:07 am
thoughtful very inspirational post
May 8, 2019 at 8:40 am
Not one but two children scored 100% marks this year in ISC. Being a teacher myself but not being teaching since the last 12 years, I was shocked to read this in the newspapers.
I want to read these students answer sheets. It’s fabulous how they don’t miss a single point and could write everything correctly. It’s unbelievable. In such competitive scenario there will be weak moments for the parents when we get overwhelmed reading about so many students securing over 95% .
So thank you for this post of yours.
It brings lots into perspective and as a parent we shouldn’t be bogged down what is happening around us and should be very cautious about our approach after results are out.
May 8, 2019 at 1:32 pm
Thank you, Aesha for taking out time to read and comment. I agree with you and hope parents understand it too.