Joint or Nuclear?
Joint family- A family where Grandparents, parents, and children stay together.
Nuclear family- A family where only a couple stays with their kids.
Which one is better?
It completely depends on an individual’s choice as both have their pros and cons.
We have always stayed away from the family and my kids visit their grandparents only in the holidays. I am fine with this kind of set up but sometimes do feel that kids need their grandparents for a lot of things. I have seen those kids whose grandparents stay with them and there is a difference between them and our kids and I am not saying a huge difference but there are things which only grandparents can teach a child. My parents are no more and the biggest reason for missing them is my daughters.
I really wish they were here with us today and spend some time with their grandchildren.
I feel a joint family can teach kids many important traits like adjusting with others, cooperation, give and take etc. But, if you ask people their views on the topic, of course, they will support either one of two.
On the other hand, Nuclear family has its own pros and cons. Sometimes people take this decision to live separately due to circumstances. It’s better to stay away peacefully than stay together and fight all the time. In a nuclear family, one has to do everything themselves and there is nobody to look after your kids when you are not around. And a nanny or a daycare can never take place of a grandparent.
We cannot say one is wrong and one is right. It all depends upon individual’s choice too. I miss my parents as they are not around but on the other hand, some of my friends who stay with in-laws are also not happy. According to them, they do not like nagging and interference.
All I can say is, “Grass is always greener on the other side.”
This is what I believe-
A family is important and kids learn a lot from other family members. My next post is about empathy and kindness. Stay tuned. 🙂
I am writing about Parenting for A to Z challenge and sharing my thoughts as a mother of a teen and a tween. Sharing my personal experiences as a mom and hope to help other moms and also learn from them through this challenge. Read all posts here.
A for Affection
B for Believe
C for Confidence
D for Dance
E for Extracurricular
F for Food
G for Guilty
H for Hacks
I for Independent
April 12, 2017 at 12:27 am
Both has it’s pros and cons – i have lived both and i like both actually!
April 12, 2017 at 9:06 am
April 12, 2017 at 9:12 am
Very wise Deepa.I feel if we could live in the same apartment complex with our relatives and parents, this issue could have a middle ground.I realy want the best of both worlds with no troubles of either.Life though will go its own way.Super way of Atozing
April 12, 2017 at 10:36 am
I agree Amrita..nearby is good as we can be there for each other. Thanks 🙂
April 12, 2017 at 10:01 am
True buddy… grass is always greener on the other side.. I have experienced both and can say it varies from family to family what works best.
April 12, 2017 at 10:37 am
Thanks Roma 🙂
April 12, 2017 at 10:51 am
True, grass is always greener on the other side. Both setup has it’s pros and cons, but in the end it’s up to the individual’s preference. I myself like nuclear setup, grew in one too.
April 12, 2017 at 11:37 am
Thanks Raj 🙂
April 12, 2017 at 11:15 am
I have enjoyed both and like both. As someone who grew up with her grandmother, in a joint family, I loved it. We are a nuclear family now, and that’s good too. As you said, both have their pros and cons and it depends on the preferences of everyone concerned, because a mutually convenient situation is the happiest!
April 12, 2017 at 11:38 am
Agree Vidya. Whatever is convenient is good these days. Thanks for reading 🙂
April 12, 2017 at 11:22 am
I grew up in a joint family and now live in a nuclear family. I believe both has its pros and cons. And happiness is finally ones state of mind.
April 12, 2017 at 11:38 am
Thanks for reading Ramya 🙂
April 12, 2017 at 12:28 pm
I grew up in a Joint Family and now live in a Nuclear one. Enjoyed the best of both worlds:)
But as you say, Deepa, The Grass is always greener on the other side for some:)
April 12, 2017 at 1:14 pm
Thanks Mayuri 🙂
April 12, 2017 at 12:32 pm
Yes Deepa, it is 100% true. Both the setups have their pros and cons. I am living in a joint family and firmly believe that you learn from them in respect of raising children or taking care of the household. But it needs high tolerance power and a lot of patience too.
April 12, 2017 at 1:15 pm
Yes Geethica..One who stays in a joint family needs tolerance and patience too. Thanks for reading 🙂
April 12, 2017 at 12:53 pm
I spent my childhood growing up in a Nuclear family but after marriage, I am in a Joint Family. Its not an easy transition. Our generation does not like nagging and interference and this make the things difficult sometimes. Just like a saying- More utensils create more noise.Being in a Joint family, you need to adjust with more people. But at the end of the day, when there is someone to take care of your Kids, you feel happy. All I can say is – Its better to be away rather than unhappily together. Give yourself some time and things will change by themselves.
April 12, 2017 at 1:17 pm
Agree Upasna. Thanks for sharing your thoughts with us. 🙂
April 12, 2017 at 1:30 pm
Yes, both are equally good depending on what kind of set up one wants! I do agree, that kids staying with grandparents are better at co-operation, understanding and sharing and it’s important for the kids to learn these at an early age!
April 12, 2017 at 1:38 pm
Thanks Geet 🙂
April 12, 2017 at 4:40 pm
Oh I prefer a nuclear family any day. Rules are much clearer for the children and they have the added advantage of lovely vacations with their grandparents which makes it so special for them. I’ve seen far too much friction in joint families with very little actual caring.
April 12, 2017 at 5:07 pm
Yes Kalpana..I have also seen a lot of joint families with problems. Thanks for sharing your thoughts. 🙂
April 12, 2017 at 4:51 pm
I agree, grass is greener on the other side. Both have their pro’s and cons. I live in a nuclear set-up but I do wish my children could spend more time with their grandparents, listening stories having their secrets and all.
April 12, 2017 at 5:08 pm
Same here Neha ..Thank you 🙂
April 12, 2017 at 5:24 pm
I grew up in a nuclear and live in a joint family. Well they all have their pluses and their minuses. The pluses are mainly when the kids are young you have ready made baby sitters and the minuses are when the grown ups are old and need help you have no time to yourself……
April 12, 2017 at 6:08 pm
Yes..There are plus and minuses. Thanks for reading 🙂
April 12, 2017 at 9:27 pm
I have always stayed as a nuclear family, as a kid and now after marriage too. Agree, both nuclear and joint families have their pros and cons, I would still prefer to stay as a nuclear family.
April 12, 2017 at 10:05 pm
Thanks Shilpa 🙂